My life after the 15 minutes…

 So as my husband has a near melt down over a baseball game and has been near catatonic for the last hour, I'm hoping to get your help. Since all he can say is "If they blow it, I'm done. If they blow it, I'm done" would you all mind clicking this link and seeing if you can see my post on reddit?  https://old.reddit.com/user/DecentData5441/comments/1gg39kl/hello_is_this_working/ I'm so sorry the comments on my last blog post seem so messed up! I'm willing to give reddit another shot but I want to make sure it works! Thank you! 

What still fascinates me about this blog (and whole experience really) is that people from all over the world follow me. I'm never sure if people want me to call them out by name but two of my longest running supporters are from Europe. With the time difference it means that I often wake up to some very thoughtful, supportive and even insightful comments. I always feel bad that I'm never able to respond like they deserve; mornings in my house are always a little chaotic. Bubs is usually out for a run (although he's been a lot of help lately since he can't run until December), I have a daughter who can't get to school fast enough and a son who somehow manages to come down with a new illness every morning so he can stay home. That menagerie needs to go over to my mom's house so she can get all the elementary age kids to school then I have to stop by and pick up my niece since her school is on the way to my job. It's actually a lot of fun but it means by the ti...

Before I get into how our trip went, I have to make fun of my husband just a little bit, I have to point out what an idiot my husband is. So he's a Dodgers fan. He was born in Albuquerque and I guess at the time the baseball team in Albuquerque was a like a feeder team to the Dodgers and it's always been quite a treat to explain to my Texan family and Texan neighbors why his office room doesn't have the Rangers or Astros gear hung up, rather its covered in Dodger blue. Not only do I have to admit I strayed and didn't marry a true Texan but he's not even a fan of Texas sports teams which I think is still a hanging offense in some Texas counties.  The Dodgers are in the World Series against the Yankees. Bubs describes it as every baseball fan's dream World Series. They are two of the oldest and most beloved teams, they both have fans across the country and its East Coast vs West Coast. So you would think that would make him happy.  The way in which the Dodgers won...

To say my mind has been racing these past few days is an understatement. I'm going to try to put this weekend out of my mind until we're actually on the plane. My thoughts oscillate between "this trip might be the coolest thing to ever happen to me" on one hand, and "I'm walking into a scam with open eyes because I want to feed my ego" on the other. That kind of thinking leads me down a thought spiral, where I inevitably conclude that I'm a spoiled brat. I wasn't spoiled growing up, but I was never deprived of anything either. When I sit back and reflect, I realize I have a husband who bends over backwards to make me happy and go along with my wild ideas. One day, I’ll have to share the story of how we bought his grandparents' house and how long he commuted just so we could live here—all because it’s what I wanted. Sometimes, I don’t feel like we're equal partners. I worry he just goes along with me because he feels like he doesn’t have a...

 So obviously I have been posting a lot less in the last few weeks. There is one reason for this; I am very happy. I told you all a few weeks ago that I was moving to part-time at work as a way to help out with a backlog but not break the budget if I were to stay on full time.  I am now on week two and I honestly think this may have been the life change I've been looking for all along.  The thing that I love the most is that I am home when my kids get home. They aren't farmed off to my sisters or my mom and I get to be the one that gives them that first hug and makes them a snack and helps them with their homework. I'm making dinner, our house is clean, I'm able to go through things to get rid of when we move and I get to walk the dogs in the afternoon. I get to babysit my sisters' kids while they do things instead of always being the one who needs rescuing. I could go on and on and on but having the time to spend with my family has been a life changing event.  ...

Tuesday was our first marriage counseling appointment in several weeks. When we scheduled with our therapist, Cynthia, she said it may be a good idea to check in with how things are going as opposed to dealing with past issues. It's one of the reasons I wrote the blog about our fight on Saturday night. The appointment started off fine, we talked about how much fun we had in California and we both learned a little bit more about our future new home and how we are both getting excited to enjoy this new adventure together. She asked us what else was going on and I showed her a printed copy of the blog I wrote on Saturday.  She obviously read it over a couple of times and then reflected for a minute or two and her first comment was directed at my husband. She essentially told him that if the way I wrote the text messages was accurate, then he did not do a good job of conveying his thoughts and wanted him to understand how he escalated the situation by not being clear with his thinking....

 This is one of those blog posts I'm writing because I want to take it to therapy with us next week. We actually haven't for about 3 weeks, maybe longer. We were out of town and then our therapist was sick last week. Fortunately, she's able to get us in this coming week, if don't kill each other before then.  I want to make this clear up front, and all of your regular readers know this, I love my husband literally more than anything and I know he loves me. So I don't mean any ill intent with this post, I don't mean to embarrass him and I don't want him to seem like the bad guy. I just want to be able to convey my thoughts when I'm inevitably crying my eyes out in front of the therapist.  One of the things I truly love about my husband is that he is not a "sports guy." I have friends and relatives who talk about the "fall divorce" they go through every year. Basically this means that their husbands are checked out watching football fro...