Of all the crazy things that have happened in the last few months, I did not expect this...
So obviously I have been posting a lot less in the last few weeks. There is one reason for this; I am very happy. I told you all a few weeks ago that I was moving to part-time at work as a way to help out with a backlog but not break the budget if I were to stay on full time. I am now on week two and I honestly think this may have been the life change I've been looking for all along.
The thing that I love the most is that I am home when my kids get home. They aren't farmed off to my sisters or my mom and I get to be the one that gives them that first hug and makes them a snack and helps them with their homework. I'm making dinner, our house is clean, I'm able to go through things to get rid of when we move and I get to walk the dogs in the afternoon. I get to babysit my sisters' kids while they do things instead of always being the one who needs rescuing. I could go on and on and on but having the time to spend with my family has been a life changing event.
Yesterday was Sunday and I usually try to avoid email completely but for whatever reason I picked up my phone and opened the email app and saw something with the subject line "Danielle, is there a good time to chat?" It looked like a regular spam email but I looked at the address and it was "Bonnie@somethingmanagement" which sort of got my curiosity up because it seemed like a real address. I opened it and it looked very real. Basically the gist of the email was that this lady "Bonnie" manages a pretty big "mom/wife" influencer who had been following my story from the beginning but had lost track of me when I was banned from reddit. This person recently found the blog and told her manager that she should reach out. I showed my husband and he agreed that it was a legit email.
I wasn't sure what to do with it so I slept on it but this afternoon curiosity got the better of me so I called the number. I figured it was going to be some lame offer to pitch some bad products on this blog (to all 45 views that I get) and could very easily say no. However, that is not what she wanted at all. She said that our story is incredibly compelling and is a great jumping off point for a "career" in social media. I joked that people seem to like my story but I'm a terrible writer and I think that will always hold me back. She said that it's not blogging, but posting on places like Instagram and TikTok. I told her the auspicious way our story started and how I've always liked limiting my exposure. She said she'd read everything she possibly could that we've posted and they have ways to mitigate (and I'm pretty sure she said mold) our image so people will either appreciate or forget how we got our start. I have to say, she was very compelling (I mean that's literally her job so I wasn't surprised).
She thinks we have a small window with where I am in the pregnancy to get in and get this started. I told her that of course I wasn't making any commitments and had to talk to my husband. She said if possible, she'd like to meet all of us in person so we can talk it over together. So basically, we are all flying out this weekend to meet with her and several of the people she represents. They aren't "big" names but if you follow the right people on social media, you probably would have heard of them. She wants to go over some preliminary ideas and details and see if we may be interested. I asked her if it was ok to write about it today and she said it's totally fine as long as I don't give any details about who she is or who she represents.
I have no idea what to think. Truly. On the surface this seems like an amazing opportunity and all I have to do is get a little bit more comfortable with putting myself out there. To include my face, my voice, my husband, my kids, my home and... my depression and anxiety. The only thing she said about money was "more than your teacher's salary with about half the hours and 1/100th of the stress." I mean more than my teacher's salary isn't an earth shattering number but still. I've loved having the record of these past few months on reddit and this blog and I would have actually loved to post videos and pics but I was always afraid of those 20,000 comments that called me "slut" and "whore" being able to associate a face with their vitriol. But if this management company knows how to deal with that, maybe a more intricate record of who I really am will be a better record than me sitting at my laptop at 12:38am on a Monday.
The part that scares me is that I would lose some authenticity which is what I've always strived for. I wouldn't want it to happen but as soon as someone else is paying the bills they will naturally have some say in what I say, how I say it and who I'm saying it to. I also love this little community that we've created and I'm not sure I'm ready to part with that. We aren't talking earth shattering money or fame here (or at least she seemed very grounded in that aspect) and we do very well fof a couple of idiots in our early 30s so is the exposure worth a few extra dollars or a few people knowing who I am ? Bubs has always been very reluctant to put anything about his military career up but as this lady reminded me, military social media influencers are a thing and he could be in the background anyways.
So yeah. I'm sort of still in shock. If nothing else it means that my story is still connecting with people. And people "in the know" think that we and the story can connect with even more people. All I know now is we fly out Thursday afternoon to visit a small office on the 14th floor of a relatively non-descript office building where a small team manages social media "stars."
If you would have told me in June that any of this would be happening because I was a last minute fill in to a trip to Mexico, I would have called you crazy. But here we are.
Thank you Andrew, I know I am really bad at responding and keeping conversations going but I really do appreciate your input and I think you raise some concerns. I also think that you are spot on that I do have a tendency to grandstand and so things that I know will provoke people (mostly my husband). It's what almost the entire therapy session was about last week and I hope I am getting better but to be honest the reason I was up so late last night is I had picked a very minor fight with him and couldn't sleep.
ReplyDeleteThis whole thing seems utterly surreal, in fact I've looked over that email about 200 times and keep playing the conversation over in my head in case I missed something. It basically seems to good to be real if that makes any sense. I don't think there's any chance of being a social media star. I think there is a possibility of having maybe a combined 75-80k followers and it being a decent part time job for a year or two before people lose interest and then I can go on to whatever comes next.
I also hope this doesn't make me sound arrogant but it's not so much that I enjoy writing about myself, it's actually reading this blog and reddit posts that I love so much. There are a few that I've read over and over because I love those memories so much (My favorites are how Bubs and I met, me almost breaking up with him because I found my own bra in his drawer and us getting lost on his grandpas ranch, all of which I should copy over here). But no doubt I would lose some of that if being public were a "job" and I had to incorporate some sort of lame sales pitch for scented candles and magnesium supplement into a post.
I think often about posting pics because I still get emails and the occasional message accusing me of being fake. Which I've always hated and posting my pic would end all of that for sure but it's one of those things that once it's done, I can never take back. The vast majority of people familiar with our story still think I cheated and I'm basically the real life version of the recent "Domingo" skit from Saturday Night Live Allowing them to put a face to that false impression is terrifying. I do think most of you have a good idea of what I look like. In fact on of my more "interesting" long term fans recently did a picture of what he thought I looked like using AI. Aside from the "girl" in the pic having three arms (???) it was insane at how much it looked like me, especially when I was younger. Of course this "interesting" person had me wearing a cross between underwear and bikini so it was more than a little off putting. But the point is, it made me think I've said enough about what I look like that most of you may recognize me in public. I don't know, I'm totally rambling but maybe no matter what comes of our meeting on Friday, I need to put myself out there a little more because I can trust the people that are still around.
As always, thank you for being such a faithful supporter Andrew. I'm sorry I don't respond often but I do know that you have been here from the very start and I always love seeing your name pop up in the comments and emails.
You raise an interesting question. Would posting a picture end the messages that say you're fake? Personally I doubt it, but that also raises the question what fake means.
ReplyDeleteThere’s a whole range of “fake”. At one extreme, “fake” is that all your posts are AI-generated and there’s no teacher called Dani married to an engineer who also has a military role. A picture would not disprove that – in fact, as we all know, AI can generate convincing pictures and videos.
But perhaps “fake” is you’re a real person but you never went to Mexico and some or all of all your stories never happened. Again a picture will only convince the people who already know you in person and know some of your story already.
Or “fake” is that the general outline of the story (Mexico” etc) is true but you’re not really called Dani, maybe you’re not a teacher and maybe your husband is not known as Bubs, isn’t an engineer etc. Again a picture will prove nothing
Conclusion: if the reason for posting a picture is to stop the emails about being “fake”, then I don’t think it will work. If you want to post a picture so that we can see the “real” you, then go for it. I'd love to see the "real" you
I must say that I agree with much of what Andrew wrote. But one the other hand, life is short and one should try out it's different fruits. But on the third hand one should be wise and not eat from the toxic trees. With all respect Danni, and I hope you feel we all respect you in our own way, I do sometimes feel as if I can almost touch your ADHD or whatever it will be called in a few years thru the screen. I know somethings make me a worse person and I try to void it. (and sometimes I indulge myself). Just be careful.
ReplyDeleteOf course I would life to se what you guys look like and maybe find out Bubs real name but I would probably loose interest in a watered down not quite so genuine Danni.
I was actually thinking of mailing you but I might as well write it here: How about at least sometimes delving into some more thoughtbased posts. Get to know your outlook on life, society (No, this is not a request for a comment about the election) religion, politics whatever. It could serve as a complement to your more memory/event based posts.
While the thought of being a social media influencer (God I hate that title) might be an attraction because of the potential following and monetary value, I believe that ultimately, it will compromise the real Dani we love. The Texan charm and bubbly person you are and your perfect family. Well, we all have our problems, but I love how you two really stay together through thick and thin.
ReplyDeleteI agree with Andrew that revealing your identity and posting pics would not stop the harassment and evil comments. On the contrary, with more exposure comes more harassment, not less. While it would be intriguing to see what you actually look like, I feel that a sense of your and your family's innocence will be compromised. Too many reality show families whose life will never be the same because of exposure. I am content with the Dani I know and happy to call my internet friend.
Lets address your continual criticism of your writing. You, my dear, are an excellent writer! Do we all make grammatical error? Yes! Do we tend to ramble off into tangents, Yes! However, in the end, we are just human. Writing should never be about the purity of grammar and spelling. It is the heart of the writer, their ability to reach out through their words to captivate the reader. You have that. I believe Mama Wolf has expanded on this very topic and I agree wholeheartedly with her. Continue to write your blog and other opportunities will arise. Don't be content with the first thing to come your way, but as Mama Wolf said, sit with your husband and family and discuss it. This is a husband and wife decision.
Finally, I have ventured off to start a blog of sorts on WordPress to help you address blogsporys shortcomings. What I've found is that WordPress is the real deal. They have extensive capabilities for blogging. Feel free to read the first post.
https://daddyp2.wordpress.com/2024/10/23/test-post/
It is a little bit harder I initially, but the potential is fairly deep. You may find that it is exactly what you were looking for. Things such as likes, comment editing, notifications of replies and comments posted, mobile app that also provides notifications. It's all there (some of the features require purchasing a plan, but for the price, I believe it is well worth it.
Forgot to mention the one thing that might sway you. Wordpress has an AI assistant that helps you not only with spelling and grammar, but writing styles and suggestions as well.
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