My life after the 15 minutes…

Hi everyone, As you’ve probably noticed, I’ve been almost completely absent from my online spaces these past couple of weeks. The truth is, I’m exhausted, and keeping up with the blog has had to take a back seat—there’s just been too much going on. On September 16th, my dad had a second heart attack. It happened to coincide with my older sister Jenn’s mother-in-law beginning chemotherapy in Dallas, so my mom and younger sister Jess were wrangling all the nieces and nephews when my dad basically dropped to the floor in the middle of telling my mom about his day. My mom is the calmest woman I’ve ever known—especially compared to the three emotional banshees she gave birth to—so when I heard genuine fear in her voice on the phone from the hospital, I knew I needed to be on a plane the next day. Ashley and I have been in Texas ever since. Thankfully, my older kids are on a three-week fall break, so they’ve been here with me since last week. If all goes well, we’ll plan on heading home O...

 So the last couple weeks have just been a little “off” for me. I’ve learned in the past year that these dips have a clinical name, and maybe that’s what’s been happening. Or maybe it’s Ashley, who despite being five months old today, apparently only slept through the night when she was tucked in by my mom or older sister back in Texas. Now, in Arizona, she stares at me in the early mornings with these big eyes that say, “I miss Grandma and Aunt Jenn.” Me too, kid. Me too. Sleep has been scarce. It could also be hormones. I’ve been lucky to avoid true postpartum depression, but I know from experience that my body doesn’t feel back to normal for about a year after having a baby. And honestly, my “baseline normal” is already a little chaotic. Then there’s my dad’s heart attack, thankfully “light” as those go, but still a gut-punch of reality. Bubs noticed I was a little off, so he asked if I wanted a night with just him; dinner, a movie, walking around like two adults. We made pla...

Hi everyone… I know it’s been a crazy long time since I’ve checked in. I’m trying to stay positive about a fairly negative reason for being gone. One thing therapy has drilled into me over the past year is that everything that happens to us comes with unintended consequences—some good, some bad. The past few weeks have been a clear example of that. The event that lit the fire under all the recent drama was my dad’s heart. I never want to leave people in suspense: he’s fine, he will be fine. For a man in his mid-60s, he’s in amazing shape—super active, super involved with his grandkids and his community. But at his age, reality sneaks in sometimes. I’ve mentioned before that he started having “wake-up calls” with his heart right around the time Bubs and I were trying to recover last year. I think I even said something vague about feeling guilty because my sisters were driving him to Houston while I was too wrapped up in my own stuff to go. Well, things boiled over in mid-to-late August,...

 I am always terrible at doing the math when it comes to weeks, months, and years. What I do know for sure is that my little brother Brian was born 26 years ago today. When I started thinking about how to frame this blog post, I tried to imagine back to when our parents told their three daughters that Mom was pregnant. I remember it being Christmas time and sort of cold — which I guess is possible for a mid-August birthday. I remember thinking that my mom was way too old to even get pregnant, and them telling us that this was a wonderful surprise. And though Jennifer remembers it very differently, I remember her taking charge (as she always did as the oldest sibling) and planning for what next year’s Christmas was going to be like when we had a baby sister to spoil. It never occurred to us that this would be a little demon spawn of a boy. But sure enough, on August 16, 1999, Brian joined our little family. One thing the three sisters noticed right away was that because we were s...

Thank you to those of you who pointed out that our story made it to “ Best of Reddit Updates ” again. I’m always curious about the why, when, and how our story is still engaging to people even a year later. This round felt pretty familiar — the same general comments as always: “This is so fake.” “No one can be that naïve.” “Well, no matter what, it wasn’t sexual assault.” “No one is dumb enough to go into a man’s hotel room alone.” I’ve heard it all before. I get it. I’ve addressed each one of those comments until I’m blue in the face — and fingertips. What was different this time was how many truly supportive messages I received. Not just in Reddit chat, but here on this blog, and even in my inbox from people who found my email ( danniynnad@gmail.com ). The creator of the r/BORU thread even sent me a very sweet private message — sharing that they’d had a similar Texas upbringing and could easily imagine my story happening to people they knew. My sisters have always been on the outsi...

So, no big real-life updates—stay-at-home momhood is still one of the most boring yet insanely fulfilling things I’ve ever done. I rushed back to work after both Abby and TJ were born because, while I loved being a mom, I didn’t think I’d be fulfilled without teaching. The circumstances were different back then—when Abby was born, we were living in Alabama and I was just subbing. There were a couple of other moms on base I trusted to watch her. By the time TJ was born, we had moved into our house in Texas, and I had my mom and older sister steps away—both thrilled to help with the kids while I took my first full-time teaching job. But here in Arizona, we’re pretty much on our own. Sure, we have Evie, but she’s student teaching and wrapping up some remote classes, and while her help is invaluable, I can’t pile any more responsibility on her just because I might get the itch to work again. Of course, Ashley loves having me home—24/7 access to your own on call feeding machine sounds gr...

So obviously, I’ve been posting a lot less lately. There are a few reasons for that. First of all—Ashley. She turned 15 weeks yesterday, and she’s unbelievably interactive now. I’ve tried to sit down and write a blog post at least a dozen times, but then she’ll smile or coo, or even throw a full-blown fit (which the baby books say isn’t possible yet, but trust me—there is some real intensity behind those cries). And suddenly I’m all in. I just want to sit with her, hold her, and soak it all in. The second reason is that I got to go home to Texas for about 10 days and just… be there. Be present. Take it all in. But maybe most importantly: the one-year mark passed. Almost without fanfare (aside from my post). And after everything that’s happened over the last year, something about that milestone felt quietly, unexpectedly cathartic. I didn’t know what I was expecting, exactly—especially since my viral moment was really just a blip—but now that I’ve eased into the comfort of family l...