The war is over...

 To open this blog up, I am going to let Bubs give his insight into the events of the past few days and then I'll give the reality of what happened to stop the fight between me and Jess. 

Thank you Ms. Dani, it's an honor to step in and be able to open your blog. I suppose we are just preserving this for history since I saw your view count on the last blog (5? really? Don't you have some in the past that had 10k views? I mean not for me to say, but 5?)

For Dani's readers, let me clarify something that I think may have come across in her past few blogs is that this vacation to Florida has been miserable. It hasn't at all. Everyone here is so used to a sisterly meltdown that we stay out of the way, we know it will come to an inevitable conclusion. I think whoever the husbands are that are involved feel a need to try and help make peace but we know its a fruitless endeavor. Now there have been moments of course and Dani's mom and older sister Jenn were about at their wits end on Thursday night. But for the most part, the vacation has been very fun. 

Lets go back to Thursday night. We had a family dinner where Dani and Evie and cooked lasagna for everyone. It was exactly what you'd expect for a family dinner of 19 people in a smallish beach condo. Loud, messy, fun--an introverts nightmare. I do have to say that Jess was doing her part to take shots at Dani during the meal. Things like "wow you can really tell what parts of the meal Evie cooked--she's the best cook in the family!" Dani had Evie on side and Jennifer on the other and I could see them grabbing her hand, rubbing her leg uner the table as if to say "don't let her get to you." 

I think we wrapped everything up at around 8:30, got 8 kids situated in age appropriate places in the two condos and Dani and I headed for bed. If I can take a literary excursion here, I have to take a second to mention how physically beautiful Dani is, she downplays it all the time but she is gorgeous. And that night after a shower, laying in bed with the covers pulled up to her chest with her arms free with an exhausted but satisfied look on her face, I reminded myself how insanely lucky I am to have her. 

Then: "This time is different you know, we will never be sisters again." Uh-oh. 

What followed was an hours long stream of consciousness that I couldn't turn off with pipe wrench. If Dani is a 10/10 on the looks scale, on the ability to talk uninterrupted she's a 20/10. And I knew I was in for it that night.

She'll claim that she was looking for conversation and advice, what she really wanted was unfettered acknowledgment  Now with her arms free from the covers what followed was an hour of nearly uninterrupted arm pounding and venting

"...you know its not me I'm sad for it's the kids.."

I know sweetie 

"...I'll have to talk to Addie to see if we can stay with her when we get back home, no way am I staying in that bitches house ever again..." 

I'm sure it will be fine, we can stay with my parents too. 

"...I just don't get her, she's really willing to ruin a family over me being bad at filming.."

Well the family is not ruin...

."...and she still has tickets to come for Halloween this year, I'll have to talk to Jenn and see if she'll still bring Kylee and Jacob. No reason they should miss out because their mom hates me..." 

That's still a few months away cutie pie...

"...and she knows how much Ashley loves her cousins, she's willing to risk that over all this? Because  smacked her? Maybe that makes me saddest of all..."

Well, I mean through it all Jess has been very sweet with Ashley, this is a you and her fight. 

"...and to put Jennifer and mom in the spot of peacemaker? I mean she truly is the most selfish person on the entire planet..." 

Well I mean your mom and Jenn inserted themselves but they love you both...

"...and those comments at dinner, what in the hell was she thinking!.." 

I agree but didn't you accuse her of burning the coffee worse than the she burned the eggs this morning?

"..well at least I have you and the kids, and we'll always have Jennifer and Brian but I lost a sister this week..."

And like a wind up toy, she talked herself until the energy was gone then fell into a deep sleep. She looks even cuter when she's asleep. 

But then I wake up at about 11:30 and there's no Dani next to me. One of the kids must have gotten her so I took a walk down the hall and opened the cousin bedrooms--kids piled on kids but no Dani. She must be downstairs so I checked there. Nothing. So I went back upstairs and looked out the window. 

On the deck below the window...there were three blonde women in their 30s dancing and singing to a mermaid song playing on one of their phones...a very obviously empty bottle of white wine on the table. And to spoil it one of those women was my wife who had not even two hours earlier gone to sleep with enough vitriol to power a small town--and one of the other women was her younger sister who she had sworn she was never speaking to again. Doing arm swings and dosey-dos around the creaky condo deck...

I should always expect the unexpected with Dani, but she always surprises me. They stayed up dancing, singing and talking until at least 4am and then the three of them slept the entire day Friday in the same bed. There was a palpable calm with the rest of us to not bother them and enjoy the peace...but we also felt whiplash. 

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Ok, thank you, Bubs.

And while I don't want to say you are inaccurate, I would like to remind you that if you don't enjoy the whiplash—sorry. Divorce is not an option. You are trapped.

So let's assume that Bubs' version of events is mostly accurate. (I'm not that dramatic...am I?)

Here's what happened next.

At about 11:00 or so I woke up and couldn't get back to sleep, so I wandered downstairs to the big deck and sat on the steps overlooking the water. The beach was quiet, the waves were rolling in, and for the first time all week nobody was asking me where a towel was, whether I had seen their charger, or if I knew who had eaten the last cookie.

I had been sitting there for maybe five minutes when I felt a hand on my shoulder.

"You can't sleep either?" Jess asked. "Can I sit down?"

I told her of course.

She sat down next to me and cuddled in close like she always does.

And that was pretty much that.

I don't think either one of us actually apologized.

We didn't discuss who started it.

We didn't revisit the gas station video.

We didn't debate the smack.

Neither of us gave some grand speech about forgiveness.

The fight was just...over.

Maybe that's unhealthy.

Maybe it's deeply dysfunctional.

But it's also how we've operated for over thirty years.

A few minutes later we were laughing our heads off and trying to sneak into our parents' condo because we knew they had wine.

Jennifer heard us giggling and came outside to investigate. Naturally, we recruited her immediately.

A few glasses in, what else were we supposed to do except sing and dance to the theme song from H2O: Just Add Water?

It has been our sisterly guilty pleasure since college. For reasons none of us can adequately explain, all three of us remain convinced that if stranded on Mako Island long enough, we would also finally discover our true mermaid heritage.

And yes, I realize how ridiculous that sounds.

At some point the three of us were dancing around the deck, singing at the top of our lungs, and laughing so hard that our stomachs hurt.

Which, according to Bubs, was a bit jarring considering that just a few hours earlier I had apparently been delivering a dramatic monologue about losing a sister forever.

In my defense, I stand by every emotion I was feeling at the time.

I just happened to stop feeling it.

And yes, we stayed up until nearly four in the morning talking and laughing.

And yes, Jennifer kicked her husband Michael out of bed so the three of us could pile in together and sleep until lunchtime.

And yes, the rest of the family experienced emotional whiplash from how quickly the latest battle came to an end.

But that's the thing.

We're sisters.

We've been fighting, making up, laughing, crying, stealing each other's clothes, and driving each other insane for our entire lives.

I wouldn't have it any other way.

Well...

She did burn the eggs.

But that's a story for another day.