The time my older sister stole a boy from me--and the grudge that continues to this day.
I think I've mentioned that my sisters read my blog and quite obviously my husband reads my blog. While no one is mad at me, all three of them had a very fair critique that at times I have told embarrassing stories about them. Specifically, my sisters said that while they enjoyed reading the stories about how they held massive grudges, I am just as guilty as they are about not being able to let small things go and bringing them up years later. I have talked about my older sister not speaking with me for days because she found out that I stole her jeans when we were in high school. I have talked about my younger sister not speaking to me for weeks because she thought I stole her roses when she was in middle school. Both stories are totally true but they might paint me in a more favorable light while showing my sisters as being the irrational ones. Which, sorry Jess and Jenn...you are, but I'm sure you can remember Dad's saying "the three of you share the same brain, what did I do to deserve this?" So its totally fair that I write about a time when I held--or still hold--a massive grudge. Jennbaby, this one is for you (and your big ol' boobs and amazing butt).
I'm trying to figure out how to weave the threads of this particular story together--so lets start here. I have said many times that me and my sisters could be triplets in that we look so similar. While that is true, I have always thought myself the ugly duckling of the family. Especially when compared to Jennifer. I have fine and whispy hair, Jenn has gorgeous blonde locks that curl and hang perfectly. Growing up I had a square gymnast body while Jenn had stunning curves that were the object of envy of all the girls and the object of desire from all the guys. I am barely 5'2" while Jenn is a couple of inches taller--which makes all the difference in the world when it comes to clothes, fashion and stature. This isn't a joke, if Jenn were just a couple of inches taller, she would be a supermodel. She is stunningly pretty.
I have also talked about our family trips to Destin in Northwest Florida. We essentially went every single year, sometimes even twice or three times. As it turned out through those years, my dad, my uncle and myself were the only ones who really enjoyed fishing. I love my dad but he was kind of a hard guy to get to know so I treasured those fishing trips. He would wake me up early, it would only be the two of us in our car and he would laugh and joke with me and I felt such a connection with him. It's important for later in the story that from the time I was maybe 5 until 16, I was the only kid who went on those fishing charters. When I turned 10 we started going out with a local company who kind of became friends of the family. The charter captain had a nephew named Jacob who was from upper Alabama who would come spend the entire season working on the boat. He was three years older than me but since most of the time we were the only two young people on the trip, we actually got to be really good friends. He was very similar to me in that he had a very serious girlfriend from the time he was very young and because I had Bubs, there was never a hint of romantic chemistry between us. Having said that, he was a gorgeous boy with a deep southern accent, perfectly defined working man muscles and the fluffiest mop-top of curly blonde hair that made him look much more like a tan, California surfer than a boy from Huntsville.
I loved hanging out with Jacob, we would talk about our boyfriend and girlfriend, he would show me how to cut bait and bait a hook and when I caught my first Amberjack it was Jacob who gave me instructions on how to reel it in. Not to belabor the point but when I was 15, my now husband had his little dalliance and dumped me. Shortly after that we did our trip to Destin and not only did I see Jacob on the fishing charter, he took me around the entire area to show me what the locals did and it was the only time for about a year where I didn't think about my heartbreak. Again, Jacob still had his girlfriend back home and she was a total sweetheart and actually said she was happy that she was dating such a nice guy as to help me get over my breakup. Jacob would have been 18 that summer and was such a gentleman that my parents had no issues with him driving 15 year old me all over the Gulf Coast and getting me back at all hours of the night. As friends, I loved the time that I spent with him.
The following summer Bubs and I were still broken up and right before prom we had probably the biggest fight we've ever had where he begged me not to go to prom with another guy. I decided that I hated his guts for his ostentatiousness and I went to prom with Teddy just to piss him off. I was so mad at Bubs that had Teddy played his cards right, he could have gotten anything he wanted from me. But what actually ended up happening that is that Teddy spent the entire prom in a chair nearly hyperventilating because he was so nervous at the thought of having to touch me while dancing. I spent the whole night trying to assure him it was ok while I watched all my friends dance and have a great time. Not really the post break up date I was looking for. Shortly after that, this very weird guy approached me at my summer job and asked me out. He claimed he was a 20 year old physics student from the University of Texas and this was his last summer in town before he got a job with NASA. I knew it was bullshit but I was lonely and still trying to get over Bubs so I figured why not (as it turns out, even my bullshit detector wasn't working because the guy was actually 25 and worked as a security guard at the outlet mall--I was 16--which he knew). One night he took me out and drove right past the restaurant he promised me we'd go to. When he kept driving into the roads that led up the river, I flat out told him that I was uncomfortable and wanted him to take me home. When he'd gotten far enough for his comfort he stalled his car and actually said "oh no, we've run out of gas! I don't know what we should do--I guess were stuck" and leaned over to kiss me. I opened the door and sprinted down the road as fast as I could hoping that I could make it to one of the party sites and that I would know people there. I was running for maybe 4 or 5 minutes when a truck rounded the corner and it turned out to be Bubs two best friends in the entire world. They asked me what I was doing out there by myself and I begged the to give me a ride. As we were driving, of course the topic of Bubs came up and they said that he was truly heartbroken and I was all he ever talked about, in fact that's why he wasn't with them because he wanted to focus on being a better person and baseball. I told them I didn't believe them because he had been such a jerk. They said they didn't blame me but I should call him for myself.
I figured seeing Corey and Tyler had to be a sign from God and maybe I should call Bubs and just see how he was doing. It had been a full year since we had broken up. As I was going to bed that night I actually prayed that if I saw another sign, I would call Bubs just to check on him. In the morning I woke up to an email from--Jacob--the charter fishing guy. If that wasn't a sign from God I don't know what was.
Jacob was super sweet as always and asked if we were coming to Destin that summer. He said that he had broken up with his girlfriend and it wasn't nearly as easy as he thought it was going to be and asked me how I got over Bubs. I replied immediately and said that our trip was in two weeks and that I'd love to try to talk to him about it. We probably exchanged 1000 emails over those 14 days and they got progressively more flirty as the time went on. In my heart and head I was like: sweet guy-check. Hot guy--check. Appropriate age difference--check. Established friendship--check. Maybe Jacob was the guy to finally help me get over Bubs. Not only did we flirt over email, he actually said the week that we would be there his uncle needed help and maybe since I'd been out with them so many times, they could hire me on and we'd get to spend even more time together. You mean the sweet, hot guy with rock hard abs also got me a paid job where I could spend all day with him? Sign me up!
We arrived right on time in Destin and I didn't waste a single second getting over to see Jacob. We had an amazing first night with each other where there was so much romantic tension but I could tell he wasn't quite ready so I didn't push anything. He asked me if I wanted to come back to the dock early and help him prep for the next day's charter and I said of course. When I got back, I let both my sisters know that the gorgeous 19 year old was broken up with his girlfriend and invited me to help him chop up bait fish at 4 in the morning. Was that ever a mistake.
My mom drove me to their dock and I got there right before 4am. To say there was romantic tension was palpable. And we were cutting up fish. He was so funny and charming and super sweet and I noticed very clearly that he didn't mention his girlfriend once and I realized--kind of shocked--that I hadn't thought of Bubs even once since I got to the dock. As the rest of the world started to wake up, Jacob's uncle came up to me and said that his charter cancelled for the day and asked if maybe my dad and uncle would like to go out. I called them and they said they would love to and would be over in about an hour or so. To me that meant I was going to spend the entire day with Jacob, to include on the boat and clean up when we got back.
An hour later I was pretty tired but still having an amazing time but I was covered in fish guts, my hair was a mess and I just felt gross. So it wasn't exactly the perfect time to look up the boat ramp to see none other than my 18 year old sister in the tiniest bikini my parents would allow, full hair and make-up--looking as if she were dropped on the dock out of a Victoria's Secret catalog. As she made her way down in her clunky beach heels. I looked at myself in my surf shorts, flip flops and filthy long sleeve shirt I thought to myself "oh no, she didn't there's no way." As she passed me I asked her what she was doing there and she said very demurely "Dad asked me if I wanted to come, I've always wanted to try it." Just as I was about to tell her that she needed to have real clothes on Jacob came around the corner and took one look at her and then looked over at me and his eyes quite literally said "go play with your dolls little girl." I was heartbroken.
As the charter got underway, to say I was now an afterthought is an understatement. Jacob and I had gone from laughing and flirting to now he could barely keep himself from staring at her boobs. I kept trying to reignite the flame but he shooed me away as if I was now an obstacle to him scoring with the new hottest girl on the boat. At one point I asked him if he could help me and actually threw a piece of bait fish at me and scolded me for bothering him--he was far too busy "helping" my sister as she pretended like she gave a crap about fishing. I may not be the smartest person in the world but I am pretty sure when a guy throws a chunk of dead fish at you, he's moved on. He just moved on to my older and prettier sister.
So when we got back I still had a glimmer of hope knowing that my sister would not want to hang around the dock. When I had a minute alone with him I asked him if I could still work with him, as coldly and bluntly as he could he said "yeah I don't think my uncle needs you anymore." And that was that, my rebound guy was officially stolen. To say my sister and Jacob were inseparable that week was an understatement and it was even worse because Jenn was off doing her thing, I got tapped to baby sit all the younger cousins. One night, I was so depressed that I went for a walk on the beach by myself and wandered right up to my sister in the throes of passion with a certain boy that I more or less had locked down just a few days prior. It was soul crushing and it just brought back all heartbreak I'd experienced over the last year and made me even more convinced that I was never going to fall in love again.
So I started this post talking about how my sisters can hold grudges like nobodies business and how they didn't think it was quite fair that I don't talk about how I can hold a grudge. So how long did I hold the grudge about my bombshell body sister stealing my rebound guy away? How many years? Oh--I'm still pissed. Even writing this out, I'm gritting my teeth because I can still see that pink bikini and her chunky heels making her walk ever so cautiously while her perfect butt just stuck out a little bit further than it normally would. And how that caused the guy I had a major crush on to look at me like I was his annoying little cousin that wouldn't leave them alone. I am happily married with two kids and a third arriving any day and I could call up my sister right now and get in a fight over this that might cause us not to speak for weeks or even months. Of the three of us, I probably have the hardest time letting things go and can hold a grudge the longest. The story today was just the one that popped into my mind but there are dozens more--Jenn stealing the car, Jess casually telling our dad that the screen on my window had "fallen off" knowing full well I had snuck out, Jenn getting a better ACT score than me and Jess and her best friend (and Bubs little sister) throwing toilet paper in my laundry. I was and still mad about all of those things. Hey sisters, what will we fight over next?
Ha! So after all these years I finally get learn fishing boy's name. However, I wont even be a smartass here. That story made me sad for you and he was apparently my competition. I guess I'm glad it didn't work out but as I was reading this, I was rooting for you to get the guy P. But at the same time, your grudges are pretty scary.
ReplyDeleteAs I was reading, I completely got lost that Danielle was telling about holding grudges and I was just following the plot hoping for you to enter and get her back!
DeleteI think Danielle posted on Reddit how that happened but I don't recall now
Oh he wormed his way back in like a champion. That's one thing that's such a bummer about my original reddit account getting nuked is that I can still see all my old posts but no one else can. But you have a great memory because I think I made that post back in early July of last year...it's crazy how much has changed since then.
DeleteAll joking aside, for as bad as Bubs messed up and as much as I hated him, he really did turn things around and was so sweet to me while not pressuring me to get back together. I don't remember exactly when it was but probably shortly after the Destin trip I talk about in the blog, I happened to see him in his grandparents pool over the wall so I asked him if he would like to take our dog on a walk with me. His excitement that I was willing to hang out with him was so flattering because he was out of the pool, into the house, into dry clothes and around the block to meet me at our gate in maybe a minute and a half. I guess I had "dated" three other guys and while fishing charter guy was the only one I really liked, none of them gave me even a hint of the spark I felt with Bubs. He was so cute and funny on that walk that I while I didn't get back together with him for a few more months, I pretty much knew that we were going to spend the rest of our lives together.
There you go being all poetic. You can wright for sure 😃. Tks for reminding that.
DeleteAbout that post on Reddit from yesterday. You got to any conclusion about the baby's name in case is a girl?
Missunderstand me correctly Dani but I can sometimes understand why C got suspicious about what happened in that room in Mexico. At least when you are overwhelmed with suspicion and fear. Why? Because at times you seem to be souch a resourceful and tough woman. I'm impressed of how you handled yourself with those guys at the chili restaurant but even ore so for how you handled that s"ecurity guy". I got scared when I read that. We men often forget how dangerous the world can be to a woman. Changing that is difficult and i suspect strongly that the cure would ofen be worse than the disease, but still.
ReplyDeleteI am impressed!
Hopefully you have given some of that attitude to your daughter.