Me, my little sister, and Matthew McConaughey (and Bub's memory not being so perfect).

 I think its become obvious that Bubs and I love taking shots at each other in the comments section of my blog. I know I've mentioned in the past that this is almost exactly how we are in real life. Just like in real life, I do worry a bit how people are going to take us being so mean to each other but as our marriage counselor once told us "love languages are weird, yours is really weird but it's still a love language."  I've also mentioned that as much as I may hate to admit it, Bubs is usually right whenever he has an opinion, a memory, a plan, etc. As a wife its so irritating but I wouldn't be doing either of us any favors if I didn't admit that its true. So because he's an insufferable know-it-all, every once in a while he will make a comment on my blog and be dead wrong and I get the pure pleasure of pointing it out to him and in this case if I have to slightly embarrass myself and my little sister, so be it. The comment in question:

And since you love taking requests on what to blog about, can you talk about how you didn't speak with your little sister for almost six weeks because you two got in a fight over Matthew McConaughey and which one of you he would have chose if romcom would have happened in real life?

So it should be clear, he was making fun of me for being so obsessed with romcom movies and he was taking a little shot as in to say "ha ha your so irrational that you and your sister got in a fight because you had a crush on Matthew McConaughey." Well smart ass, you are so wrong, not about us being irrational, but unfortunately for me, you're the only guy I've had a crush on for most of my life. Sucks to be me. 

Did me and my sister get in a fight that lasted six weeks, ostensibly caused by the movie "How to Lose a Guy in 10 days." Yes. Was it petty, silly and uncomfortable for those around us? Yes. Did we fight because we each had fantasies about Matthew McConaughey romantically taking us away from the hum-drum life of mom and wifehood in Central Texas? No--we're not idiots. 

Here's what actually happened. I think it was about 4 years ago, our parents were watching our kids, Jess's husband was out of town and Bubs had to work. So on a Friday evening we decided we were going to grab some wine, and finally watch "How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days." Yes, a silly, cheesy romcom but right up our alley. It's a very cute movie that unfortunately we didn't get to finish that night. There is a scene in the movie where the lead character Ben delivers 100 white roses to Kate Hudson's character, Andie. It's very cute scene because she calls to thank him in front of all her friends and he takes the call in front of all his friends. In the middle of it, I looked over at Jess and she was just staring daggers at me. I tried to look away thinking I must have caught her at a weird moment and looked back to the screen. All of the sudden the movie paused and she said "I literally can't believe you Danielle." I was like what did I do? She said that she didn't understand how I could watch that scene and not remember what happened. It instantly hit me and I immediately got passive aggressive and said "oh not this again, please be more mature than this." With that we were fighting. About something that happened when she was 14 and I was 16. 

Here's the short version, right after Jess did her 8th grade promotion one of the cutest guys in our entire town nervously gave her a dozen white roses as a gift right in front of all of her friends. If I remember correctly, he had just finished his freshman year of high school but he had been too nervous to ask her out because he didn't want to get made fun of. But now that she was out of middle school he could ask her out. She was over the moon excited and it was very cute. This was also the time when Bubs and I were broken up, we'd just had our massive fight where he became my mortal enemy and I had just gone on the most awkward prom date of all time with a boy named Teddy. While I should have been happy for my sister, I think my teenage jealousy shown through and I was more sad for myself that no one brought me flowers. Jess got to admire her flowers for all of about 3 hours and then they were just gone. Like as in vanished from our house completely. Jess took my reaction as proof that I had taken the flowers and thrown them away because I couldn't see stand her getting attention from a boy. We fought over it all summer long and while that fight gradually started to fade, I learned when we were 29 and 27 that she still blamed me for her flowers disappearing and it took a romcom to reveal that she was still mad. 

She said "you know you took those flowers Dani, just admit it." I reiterated that I had no idea what happened to her flowers.

 "Danielle, your life was in the toilet and you were jealous of me. Like I don't get how even now you can't just admit it." 

"Jess, what the in the hell is wrong with you? This was so long ago and I didn't take the flowers."

"Oh my god, either you admit it right now or we are done as sisters."

"Don't you think you're being a little dramatic?"

"I'm dramatic? You literally threw away a dozen roses because you were jealous of me." 

"Yes you've always been such a drama whore. And no I don't know what happened to your fucking flowers from 15 fucking years ago." 

"I'm leaving."

"Fine."

"Fine."

She got up and slammed her wine and stormed out the front door. Bubs peeked around the corner from his office and asked me what just happened. I told him that I had one less sister.

And we legitimately didn't speak. That was sometime in October so we did our neighborhood Halloween and Thanksgiving in each other's presence but didn't say a word to each other. We did shoot evil glances at each other every so often but we did not speak to each other. Our mom and our older sister tried to sit us down to get to the bottom of it but all Jess said was "she won't apologize for what she did" and my retort was "she's being an absolute idiot and I can't apologize for something I didn't do." 

Right after thanksgiving Bubs and Jess's husband had enough and they hatched a plan that if they got us together in a public restaurant we would have to talk it out. Both Jess and I love raw oysters so their plan was to meet at one of the oldest oyster bars in Austin. The reasoned that the ambiance, the food, some drinks and us yapping and we'd be best friends again. Bubs and I got there first and took a seat. I thought it was just a fun date night away from the kids but when Jess and her husband walked in my mood instantly soured. She saw me and I could see she and her husband get in a minor argument at the hostess stand but finally he talked her into at least going in the restaurant. I was furious at Bubs for setting this up and I wanted to leave. He talked me into staying because he'd drove all that way so even if we don't speak to them, we might as well enjoy our food. 

While we were eating, I kept looking over at her and she looked so cute and it really started to hit me how much I missed her. I told Bubs that I was going to text her to try some of a certain type of oyster as an ice breaker. But as I was pulling my phone out my phone buzzed and it was a from her and she had beat me to it with almost the exact same message. When I looked up from my phone she was standing right next to our table and said that she missed me and was tired of fighting with me. I got up and hugged her and started crying and told her how much I loved her and missed her too. We moved tables so we could sit together and it was like the last six weeks didn't even exist we talked so much. 

We decided to drive home together and let the boys go back by themselves so we could continue to catch up. On the way home we decided to call our brother Brian to see if we could stop by and say hello.  Brian answered and he heard both of us over the bluetooth and said he was surprised to hear us together and thought we were fighting. We said that we'd made up and we wanted to stop by and see him. He said he was busy but asked us what the fight was about. I believe Jess said something very diplomatic like "I was upset about flowers I got after middle school and thinking Dani stole them." 

Brian let out this utterly diabolical laugh, the same laugh I've heard out of him a thousand times when he is being a little shit stirrer. He said "no, not those white  flowers you got when you graduated from middle school?"  Jess and I looked at each other like...what...how does a 20 year old guy remember flowers his older sister got when he was 8 years old? Brian just kept laughing as if very proud of himself and said "that's what you two idiots were fighting about? Oh my god. That is one of the funniest things I've ever heard." Jess and I were totally confused and she asked "ok, so obviously you know something about the flowers." Bran was almost in hysterics he was laughing so hard and said "yes!! my friends and I took them so we could shoot them with paintballs in the woods! Jessica, you've been mad at Dani all this time over that!? How could you not know it was me?"  Brian, ever being the little shit, showed no remorse and was actually quite proud of himself and laughed himself until it sounded like he was losing his breath. We both told him that we were not going to stop to see him and he said "oh my god two overly dramatic older sisters wont interrupt my fun on a Friday? That's your punishment?" And hung up on us. 

Jess and I just stared out the windshield for a very long time, very uncharacteristically silent knowing that the little latecomer who always got away with everything not only caused us to have a fight years and years after his little theft, but that he was actually proud of himself. Staring straight ahead Jess very quietly said "I'm really sorry Danielle." I said "I'm sorry too." Neither one of  us wanted to admit that we'd been had. 

So Bubs--back to you. No my sister and I  did not get into a fight over which one of us Matthew McConaughey would have chosen had we been characters  in a romcom. We got in a fight over flowers at an 8th grade graduation--13 years prior. See, I'm not an idiot, neither is Jess.