Having a bit of a low couple of days, asked Bubs for ideas and he wanted me to share my fight with the football player.

 So I think my husband has something of fight kink or something...I don't know. I do know that I am 3 weeks away from delivering a baby, I feel like crap and there is no sign that this baby wants to leave her/his mama. Both of my other kids were delivered about two weeks early and a week prior to that they were telling me "be ready, this baby is coming out any day now." I just had an appointment today and they basically said expect this little guy to go for the full 40 weeks. I know I shouldn't want to rush but I'm kind of over this. On the way home I was moping that I'm really bored. My in-laws are taking care of the kids, getting us dinner, keeping the house clean--and making me feel like a prisoner. I'm pretty sure if Bubs and his mom had chains to shackle me to the bed, they would--and the thing that sucks is my OB would encourage it. She said save for short walks a few times a day, I need to be resting. I'm a spaz and resting when I don't want to isn't really in my vocabulary. So on our drive back home from the OB I asked Bubs if there is anything he would like me to blog about because I just need something a little different than my usual recovery fare. He said maybe the first time we actually "did it." Um no, him getting me hooked on sex is why I'm in the predicament I am now and can't tie my own shoes. He said type about how much I loved gymnastics. Hey jerk, I can barely walk around the block, much less do my floor routine (80% of which I could still do last summer, even though I quit gymnastics 15 years ago). He said ok, talk about the time you actually squared off to get in a boxing match with a college football player and had to be dragged away by countless number of drunk party goers. He may have hit on something--punching a man in the face sounds really fun right now. 

So as I have alluded, we grew up in a place with a ton of rivers and lakes and most of our teenage partying took place at various campsites and secret spots near water. I've mentioned how much the movie Dazed and Confused reminds me of my childhood; similar area of Texas, weird town rituals, so much driving and beer busts out in nature with almost no adult supervision. Well that's not true, the adults almost certainly knew about it but they reckoned their generation had their fun and it wasn't fair to spoil it for us. So to set the scene, think of that party at one of the Moon Towers that happened at the end of Dazed and Confused--only with a river in the background. 

I was at the party with Bubs (of course) several of his friends and my friend Peyton. Bubs and I hat retreated to one of the tents to do our thing. He had a hand full of boob and his lips on my neck when we heart that very distinctive sound of a tent zipper opening followed by my friend Peyton saying "Dani, I've got to leave, there's a guy here I don't want to see." I am ride or die with my girls so much to Bub's dismay I pushed him off and set off to get her out of there. 

As I emerged from the tent there was a monstrous guy who clearly did not belong at the high school party. As we later learned he was a friend of a friend who was a football player at one of the many universities that are near our hometown. As I was scooting Peyton away he kind of grabbed her by the arm and to my best recollection said something like "so this is why you ditched me? To hang out with high schoolers? I just want to fucking talk to you." I asked her how she knew him and she said that she had hooked with him a few weeks ago--I knew her well enough that "hooking up" meant a very bad decision she had made in reaction to her parent's ridiculously strict rules and parenting. She told him that she didn't want to talk to him and that she was leaving. He grabbed her again and said that she could only leave after she explained herself. I tried to be calm and say that we were leaving and if she wanted to call him, she would. 

His reaction was to say "look bitch, this is none of your fuckin' business." I absolutely saw red when he called me a bitch and I let go of Peyton to get in his face and tell him to leave both of us alone and it is my business. At that moment Bubs and a bunch of his friends tried to intervene. I will never forget Bub's friend Clayton grabbing me by the waist and picking me up and taking me several hundred feet away while Bubs and his friend Travis were trying to negotiate with the guy saying that this was a fun party, there was no drama, Peyton just wanted to leave but they would talk to her and if she wanted to call him she would. As Clay was carrying me away I was screaming "Bubs don't you dare tell him she's going to call him, don't you fucking dare, I'm getting her out of here."  

I don't remember exactly what was said because I was pretty far away but I know the football player said something like "better listen to your little lady BUBs and I'll just keep Peyton here for myself." As I came to find out later Bubs responded with "look man, I've known her since she was 10 years old. Please don't piss her off or you will be in the fight of your life and none of us want that." I did very clearly hear "Shut the fuck up BUBs." Now this guy had harassed my friend and tried to make my boyfriend look stupid.  In that second, I saw red and I was a tornado bent on destruction. 

I am not going to sit here and say I would have won the fight or I would have even done any damage against this guy (save for a lucky shot I'll describe below), he probably weighed at least 3 times as much as me. But when I get in these situations, a few things happen. I vastly overestimate my strength--but to be honest, when I was not even a teenager I would have to do hundreds of full pushups and pullups a day as "punishment" for messing up at gymnastics--I'm pretty strong for nearly 5 foot nothing. The other thing that I know in my heart of hearts that if there is ever going to be a physical fight between me and a guy, his manliness is not going to let him go full out while at the same time, every Texas man in the near vicinity is going to jump in and stop a girl from getting hit. I know I can get some good swipes in before that happens. I know, I'll never "win" but I'm smart enough to know what I can get away with. 

Clay had set me down on a camping chair and when I heard "shut the fuck up BUBs" I went sprinting across the campground. The football player had turned his back and I grabbed his shirt and actually ripped it as I was trying to spin him around but he did not budge because of me, but the sound of his shirt ripping definitely made him face my direction. I saw his hands go up in what looked like he was really ready to fight. Save for some school yard scraps with boys when I was younger, this was as real as it had ever gotten and in my head I was like "holy shit, this guy is going to hit you...put your hands up like you've seen in MMA fights" so I did. 

So obviously I did not see this from the outside, but I've had it described to me so many times that I think my memory is transformed into what other people told me what they saw. On the side closest to the river was a 6'6" near 300lb football player with a torn shirt, his hands up and ducking and weaving like he was in a prize fight. On the side closest to the campfire was me--5'1" (or 2" on a good day), 130lbs with her hands up simulating like she knew what she was doing but a look on her face like she didn't care--this was going down. The stories vary as to how long that little tete-a-tete went on. I've heard we moved around like boxers for a few minutes, but in reality it was probably more like 10 seconds before the entire party intervened and tried to get between us. I know that I heard Bubs screaming "look man you aren't going to fucking hit my girlfriend, just leave!" I know that I again felt myself being picked up by the waist and dragged away but this time the football player dude really did swing at me and whoever had picked me up put in a perfect position that I hauled back with both of my legs and I kicked out as hard as I possibly could. I will truly never forget the look and sound of my pink Vans as the ball of my foot connected straight on with his knuckles as he lunged at me with all of his might. I know the contact knocked me and the person carrying me back but it also cracked his hand so bad that it very likely would have broken it. 

There were several party sites near us and word of a guy/girl fight must have gotten around because within minutes our site swelled to 4 times its size. As I came to find out later, one of the party goers that ran in was an off duty sheriff's deputy and he basically told everyone that if shit didn't calm down, he'd have no choice but to call it in. Me, Peyton, Bubs and Bub's friend Travis were all piled into Bub's truck driving down the little road to get back to our town. Peyton was so thankful but was too in shock to say it so she and I just sort of hugged in the back seat. When the adrenaline wore off,  Bubs just started laughing as hard as I've ever heard him laugh. When he would catch his breath, he would gasp "you ripped that dudes shirt! And you broke his fucking wrist! Holy shit Dani...holy shit" and then he'd start laughing again (Bubs still thinks I kicked him in his wrist, I know for a fact it was head on with his knuckles). Bub's friend was laughing just as hard and every once in a while he'd interject with my nickname in HS (also my maiden name) and say "P, you are fucking crazy--you were in a boxing stance with fuckin' lineman! Holy shit! We're you scared shitless?" All I could says was no, he harassed my friend and my boyfriend-what was I supposed to do? Travis laughed his head off and said to Bubs that he better not ever make mad. I agreed. 

I know we stopped and got pancakes our usual post drinking diner and after that we dropped Travis and then Peyton off Bubs took home where we parked in between my house and his grandparents. We laid in the back of his truck for a really long time just trying to decompress from the events. I remember praying that my parents that my parents would think I was already in bed and not come out to check on us or see me hobbling on my now swollen foot. Bubs said one of the sweetest things he's ever said to me (and I really do mean it): "You broke a dudes wrist tonight. You are crazy but holy crap I love you." 

I love you too Bubs, still do, and yes, I'm still crazy.