A post where I'm a whinging brat about the semi-distant past. But I don't know if I'm wrong.

 I think one of the major things that both me and my husband have discovered throughout the past year is that when we are dealing with new issues, that inevitably brings up things from the past that have hurt both of us. Sometimes these are silly little things that we can laugh about now, sometimes they are actually things that have scarred us both pretty deeply. Sometimes they should be silly little things but for whatever reason they still really sting. 

On my blog from Thursday I actually got to learn something that I didn't know about my husband and Brian's relationship. There is an 8 year age gap between Brian and Bubs but when I say they are the best of friends, I literally mean they are the best of friends. I always assumed it was because like Bubs and I grew up together, Brian and Bubs grew up together. No doubt with 3 very dominating older sisters, Bubs must have seemed like the very chill older brother that seemed like the calm among the exceptionally hormonal storm that Brian had at home. All of that still may be true--but I also learned that on way more than on occasion, Bubs would drive Brian across our little corner of Texas to take my little brother to boob restaurants. 

Now before I seem hypocritical here, I have mentioned often that I was a Hooters girl. I also have no misconceptions about why Hooters was popular (sadly they have gone downhill-I have my own theories but news about bankruptcy from this past week certainly seems to back up my opinions). I also have no misconceptions that my then teenage boyfriend and now husband liked to look at other girls and restaurants like Hooters and Twin Peaks made it sort of easy. But even after having said all that and the fact that we are talking about 15 or 16 years ago--I'm still pretty annoyed. 

This isn't some sort of long hurt that is going to lead us to break up or anything in fact it's already become something where I can joke and needle him about it. But finding out, rather abruptly I might add, that one of the reasons my husband and my little brother are so close to this day may in fact be because they were going to flirt with scantily clad girls is pretty goddamn annoying. And keep in mind, these weren't two teenage guys going to a bresasturant together--this was my boyfriend essentially babysitting my little brother. I was a Hooters girl--I know the angle of the guys bringing their younger siblings, cousins, etc. and it being a way to seem like a sweet and nice guy. Although Bubs denies that, I'm not an idiot.  I can literally see his smug face beaming when being complimented by a waitress with jean shorts half way up her ass; "Oh that's so sweet that you brought him! You guys are so cute together." For some reason I doubt he mentioned that the little "him" in question was his girlfriend's little brother. 

I'm also super annoyed at the way this little tradition started. My mom paid for it. Oh no, not just paid for it but gave Bubs money so he could take my brother out and be a "good influence" and his decision was to drive 50 miles out of the way to a boob restaurant? My brother was supposed to be punished for looking at porn on the computer! 

"Oh Brian that was really wrong of you to download naked pics of 18 and an 19 year old girls on your family computer--but you know what's not wrong? Going to look at them in person! Let's go little buddy!" Who in the fuck did I marry? Who did I have three kids with? 

I think of the misconceptions that I've created is that Bubs and I were one of those annoying high school couples who were attached at the hip and spent every waking moment with each other. While I would have loved that, we were both in every AP and honors class we could take so we were always busy with school. In addition we were both in very high level athletics and during many parts of the year, I had gymnastics both before and after school and we both had clinics and camps that always seemed to keep us apart.  So with that, every opportunity to see each other was really a gift to me and I very much remember the night in question where my mom had Bubs take Brian out for their "one on one" talk. It was in the summer and I was getting ready to go the Karolyi ranch for gymnastics camp and I was one horny little girl and was ready to ravish my boyfriend before I left.  He knew this too--but all it took was my mom saying "hey can you go take little Brian here to have a man to man with him, you are such a good influence on him" and he readily agreed. Good influence my ass, Bubs was ready to have me bent over the wet bar that my friend Analise had in her parent's basement--where we did so many of our secret rendezvous. That is, until an offer of free food came with his best friend and little mentee came along. 

 Him leaving me was bad enough but to find out that they were gone for so long that night because they had driven 100 mile round trip to look at OTHER girls tits and ass?   Instead of having the romantic evening like I planned, I think they got back around 11pm and we got a few minutes  wham-bam-thank you--ma'am in the back of his truck. I'm actually humiliated looking back how thankful I was to even get that from Bubs. They could have gone to McDonald's and been back in an hour! 

As has happened to so many times since I've started writing, Bubs and I started our argument on here in what was meant to be a joke but ended up in a full blown fight in real life. I think what was worse is that I was feeling like a major hypocrite because not only was I a Hooters girl, I actually understand how easy it is to find women attractive. In our real fight I was actually ready to be over it but then I made the stupid mistake of saying "well I guess it's not that big of a deal, it was a one time thing." And the Bubs made the even more stupid mistake and saying "well actually, I used to take him to Twin Peaks or Hooters a few times a year--maybe every two or three months or so." And with that, the fight was on all over again. I married the smartest stupid man who has ever lived. 

So that brought a whole new element into the fight--why am I just finding out about this now? I actually would have loved to have been included, I enjoyed spending time with both of them. You mean all the times I packed my Hooters uniform into my bag so I could change at work and it never occurred to him to say "say cutie, funny story--one of the reasons your little brother and I are so close now is that I used to take him to boob restaurants when he was little. It was a nice bonding moment for us." I would have probably been annoyed but at the same time the shock of finding out it happened a year ago would have been much less than finding out it happened 15 years ago. 

And on top of all of this--I wanted to tattle. I'm from a family of four kids, its one of the things we are best at. So on Friday morning I called my mom, really needing a win. I told her "hey remember that time when you guys caught Brian with porn on the computer--and you had Bubs take him to eat a few days later because he was a "good" influence." She said that she thought so. I told her "well I just found out that actually took him to a T and A restaurant on the outskirts of San Antonio."  What I was hoping for was "oh my god Danielle, thank you so much! I'll get Brian on the phone immediately and you tell Bubs to call me as soon as he gets home! I'm going to give him a piece of my mind! How irresponsible!"  Instead what I got was "Danielle, that was what...20 years ago?...get over it. I'm sure Bubs had the best of intentions." God I hate him sometimes. 

So yeah, Saturday morning and I'm annoyed at something my husband did 15 years ago.  I freely admit that I am a spoiled brat who gets my way almost all the time and I should be a lot more thankful in life. But I don't know know if I'm wrong on this one.