Once again my sweet readers save the day...

 So I wrote on Monday about the fight that started with my sister on Sunday afternoon. We've had hundreds of these fights over these years. We had about 20 of them where we needled and picked on each other on Thanksgiving alone. My older sister Jennifer is very high strung and so am I so that makes it fairly easy to set each other off. But from the fact that Jenn was swearing at me in front of the family made realize that she was really upset about me taking the jeans (if you need a primer, that post can be found here) and this was bigger than any fight we've had in recent memory. 

Jenn's oldest daughter is 13 and ever since she started middle school, I've driven her to school on most mornings. Jenn's other daughter and son are 9 and 7 and their school is in the opposite direction while the middle school is on my way. Those drives have been so fun because we sing our hearts out to Sabrina, Taylor, Chapel, etc... Usually I drive by their house give a quick beep and both Jenn and Maddie will come out the front door and Jenn gives me a wave while Maddie gets in the car. 

On Monday, I was a little worried that Jenn wouldn't let me drive Maddie because she was so upset. I texted Jenn to double check but was again pretty sure she had blocked my number. I decided to just try give it a shot so I pulled up at the regular time gave my beep. Maddie did come out but no Jenn. When I got in the car I just said "your mom's really mad at me huh?" Maddie said "yeah she's pissed. It's ok though she's totally overreacting." I have to admit that it felt nice to have a little ally in the current fight. But at the same time I still felt the pang of guilt deep down in my stomach. 

I posted the blog on Monday night and Tuesday morning was the same as Monday. Drove up, did my beep, Maddie came out and no Jenn. That morning Maddie and I just talked about niece/aunt stuff and I didn't want to pry into what was going on in her house so I had no idea how mad Jenn still was.

Then last night I was checking in on my comments and one of you guys left me some great advice to leave her a written note with an unqualified apology and then offer to make up the theft of the jeans with a nice shopping trip. I had thought about sending her a card but my card would have been full of excuses and things like "I'm sorry but you know we were 16 and 14...right?" Little jabs which would have made me feel better in the moment but would have done nothing to repair the relationship in the very little time left we have before we move away. I actually got up and out of bed and drove to the late night Walgreens and picked out a card and wrote her the following note:

Jenn, 

I'm really sorry about stealing your jeans. No qualifications, no "yeah butts" and no "well remember when you did..." I was so wrong to take them. I was so wrong for hiding them from you, both in our room and when I wore them. I was wrong to never return them to you. I was wrong for exploiting your little youth group rendezvous in order to take the heat off me. I am so sorry. I love you so much and want to be friends again before we leave after Christmas. I know we'll get past this, we always do but the thought of us not spending every possible moment together for the next 23 days is heart breaking. Please let me make it up to you.  I love you so much. D. 

Instead of honking this morning I went up and let myself in the house (we do this all the time). I managed to catch Jenn's husband as he was walking past the den into the kitchen and he whispered "please say you're sorry! we are all miserable here!" I tapped the card and asked him where she was and he pointed in the kitchen. She was packing lunches and didn't see me so I walked up behind her and gave her a huge hug from the back and handed her the card. She had tears in her eyes and so did I and she said "I'm so pissed at you." I told her just to read the card and call me if she wanted to. Maddie was ready so we walked out and drove to school, but were pretty quiet. 

As I was driving back into town after school I saw on my display that Jenn was calling me so I eagerly answered.  She said my card was very sweet and she really appreciated that I didn't make any excuses (thank you Mama Wolf!) nor tried to qualify anything. I kind of let her unload that the jeans meant way more to her than they probably should have because she was always so jealous of how talented Jess and I were at gymnastics. She said that her shopping trips with Mom were one of the only times she got to feel special. It broke her heart to know that she always knew I took her pants and it was very symbolic of how she felt being the oldest sibling who had to be the ground breaker, got in way more trouble, was held way more accountable and on top of that had these to younger sisters who were so much prettier than her and way more talented. She said she was sorry for the way she acted on Sunday night but seeing her own daughter with the evidence of the wrongdoing was more than she could bear. 

So Jennifer has always been my hero and what she said today kind of blew me away. We look alike, there is no doubt but she is stunningly gorgeous so it kind of unraveled me to her her refer to me as prettier--um no. She is also so put together, she was smarter, she got a better scholarship than I did and she was a far better athlete than I was--she just played softball. I've always seen her as me but better if that makes any sense. Heck my own husband had a crush on her (and her huge boobs) when we were first introduced after he moved to town and started hanging out at his grandparents (our neighbors and our house now). She's a better mom, she's a better wife, she's more calm, she's more collected, my parents trust her more--even now. I could go on forever how amazing she is, and always has been. So it was a little enlightening to learn of one of my best friend's insecurities and why they were so tied up in a couple of pair of designer jeans. 

I told her again that I was so sorry for not understanding and I shouldn't have done it and I should have taken any of the thousands of opportunities to make the situation right. And that I insisted she give me the opportunity to make it right now by letting me take her shopping (again another piece of advice from you amazing readers) and buy her something that she always wanted but would never buy for herself. 

We sort of decided that it's going to be way too busy in the coming weeks for either of us to set aside that type of time but when we getting settled in Arizona she's going to fly out and we are going to do an exclusive sister weekend in Scottsdale with spas, treatments, shopping, nice hotel, etc... We have a tentative date set in January. Which considering how pregnant I'll be, being doted on in a spa with my sister next to me will be a dream come true.  

Sorry Bubs, get the credit card out--me being very cruel to my older sister as 14 year old is somehow going to cost you a lot of money 19 years after the fact. Marriage is so fun, eh fella? 

When I got into town I stopped immediately at her house and she and I just sat and talked for an hour. After she and I had gotten everything patched up, we called Jess over and we all met Brian at a really fun Barbeque place between our town and his. I can't even remember the last time it's just been the four of us kids without any husbands, girlfriends, boyfriends, kids, parents, nieces, nephews, grandpas, grandmas, in-laws, etc..  And we had an amazing time. I love my sisters and my brother so much. As a total aside, we FINALLY got Jenn to come clean about what happened the night she stumbled through the front door drunk off her ass on a Wednesday when she was supposed to have been at youth group--wearing a boys clothes. All I can say is she wasn't wearing the clothes because she had "two wine coolers and fell in a pool" as the story has always gone--my sly older sister. I don't know the last time the four of us laughed so hard together. What a night. 

I'm just getting home and my equally amazing husband had already taken care of getting the kids fed and homework done so that I could set down and write this out. Both for my memories and to just say thank you all--for saving the day once again. Mama Wolf, you are an amazing soul.