Since he's so clever, your guest blogger today is my annoying husband looking to embarrass me.

Standard morning around here. I woke up with Ashley, got comfy in my rocking chair to nurse her and start the day. Bubs usually gets up with us, dotters around for a bit, then puts on his running shoes and heads out for a jog.

But this morning? Instead of the usual horrifying bathroom acoustics, I hear howling laughter. Then—knock knock knock—my brother Brian’s at our bedroom door:
“Craig! Did Michael send you that TikTok too?”

Emerging from the bathroom, Bubs yells back, mid-wheeze:
“YES!!! DAN—YOU HAVE TO SEE THIS!!”

Michael is my older sister’s husband, and apparently he thought it would be hilarious to send his two brothers-in-law a video that just so happened to star… me. Well—not me me—but spiritually me.

In the TikTok, a girl is filming a cute little outfit check at a subway station in Europe. Very casual. She props up her phone, smiles, adjusts her outfit and shoes off her shoes, and just as the train pulls in, she hops on—without her phone. Since the phone is still recording, you get this full, uninterrupted view of her boarding the train, adjusting her jacket, then suddenly realizing right as the doors are closing that she left her phone on the platform. You see her shoot up and panic as the train pulls out. Somehow she makes the round trip and when she returns, her phone’s still there—still recording. You even see her relief when she picks it up.

I'll let my smartass husband explain why that video was so funny to him and Brian and why Michael felt the need to send it to them at 6 a.m. Texas time.

Hi everyone! Bubs here. Thanks to my beautiful wife Danielle for letting me guest blog today. You look stunning nursing Ashley, by the way—truly the best mom, and I love you so much.

Okay, so here’s why that video hit so hard for us.

Right after the COVID lockdowns started to lift in Los Angeles, my company asked me to work from the LA office to help clear up a major backlog. The facility wasn’t really equipped for remote work, so they flew some of us out and rented a condo in Santa Monica. For about a week during one of those trips, I had the place to myself—perfect excuse for Dani and the kids to come visit.

Now, I’ve been a lifelong Dodger fan, so obviously I wanted to take the kids to a game. Dani wanted to Uber the whole way to the stadium. I, being way more frugal and loving the experience, I  thought the kids should experience the E-train to Union Station and then catch the shuttle to Chavez Ravine.

Dani wasn’t thrilled that she didn't get her way. She was huffing and puffing the walk to the Metro Station (don’t worry—99.99999% of the time she gets exactly what she wants). She was fast-walking with the kids about 40 feet ahead of me, and I got caught at the crosswalk, so I watched them head up the stairs to the Santa Monica station. By the time I got to the platform, they were already on the train.

I looked in the last car but didn’t see them, so I walked down the platform trying to spot them. Suddenly, Dani pops out of the train, eyes wild, clearly relieved to see me, and yells:

“BUBS! MY PHONE! MY PHONE!”

I thought she’d dropped it on the ground, so I started scanning near my feet and back toward the turnstiles.

“No—it’s on the bench! That yellow bench!”

I looked back, and sure enough, there it was: Dani’s brand-new iPhone, just chillin’ on the bench across from the train, decked out in the purple LifeProof case I bought her. I sprinted back, half-expecting someone to beat me to it, but somehow it was still there—and still recording.

I grabbed it just as the doors started to beep, and I jumped onto the nearest car, a few cars back from Dani and the kids.

I figured I’d make my way to them once the train was moving. But while I waited, I did what any curious husband would do: I opened the camera roll.

The video starts with Dani propping up the phone, wrangling Abby and TJ into frame, and chirping:

“Hi everyone in Texas! We’re on our way to the Dodgers game! We miss you!”

She gives the kids a little nudge, and they robotically rattle off, over the din of the outdoor metro station:
“Hi Maddie, hi Aiden, hi Kylee, hi Jacob, hi Laney.”

Dani nudged them again, but Abby was done playing along, so TJ added, “Oh yeah, hi Aunt Jennifer and Aunt Jessica.”

Then the camera watches them board the train. Dani starts to seat the kids but clearly changes her mind (we later found out there was dog poop smeared near their original seats—fair call). So she moves them again, farther up a few cars.

The camera keeps rolling. A few people glance at it, but no one takes it. Then, a flash of my legs walks past. A second later, you see my hand swoop in, grab the phone, and the video ends.

Now, I knew she was going to delete that video the second she got her hands on it. So I airdropped it to myself right then and there.

When I caught up with them, Dani looked so relieved. She said:
“Oh my gosh, thank you! I took a quick pic of the kids and set it down for a second, then got nervous because I thought you were already on the train!”

One of the most adorable things about Dani—like, ever—is when she tries to shift blame after she’s had one of her moments. This time, I had the proof.

I played along: “Oh, I’d love to see the pic!”

She goes through the whole act, but I could tell her fingers were doing more than just scrolling through her pics. She was deleting the video.

“Ugh, I guess I didn’t even get the picture! Oh well, we’ll take more at the game!”

Nice try, cutie pie. I had the receipts.

I kept that video tucked away for the perfect moment. A few weeks later, when her family came over for Sunday football, I screencast my phone onto the TV.

“Hey everyone! Dani brought back a little souvenir from LA!” She looked at me as if I was the crazy one...

The video starts playing:
“Hi everyone back home...”
Cue the cousin roll call.
Cue the forgotten phone.
Cue Dani hustling the kids away from the dog poop.

Dani’s face when she realized what was happening? One of the best things I’ve ever seen...its amazing when the girl who can talk to a sheetrock wall and never run out of things to say is stunned into silence. 

Thanks for letting me fill in, cutie pie