The second time I was arrested

Bubs and I are at the airport for our first trip together in a really, really long time. Today is our 11th wedding anniversary and he surprised me with tickets to San Diego to see my absolute favorite artist of all time, Kacey Musgraves. After that we are going to drive to Arizona to meet with a real estate agent and look at some houses and then he actually has his first drill weekend with his new unit before we'll head home late next Sunday. 

When we do travel, I get to shut my brain off because Bubs handles everything. He knows the flights, he knows the gates, he knows the times, he knows the parking and transportation plans. I will usually get the biggest, girliest Starbucks I can and follow instructions. No coffee today but my plan was to spend the entire day cuddled up to him staring at his eyes because they are beautiful and so is the man behind them. But alas, on the way to the airport his bosses boss called him and said there was a true crisis that Bubs needed to get involved in. Bubs told him he was technically on vacation but the guy told him not to cancel flights or anything but Bubs needed to get involved. So we are sitting in a quiet corner of the airport waiting for our first flight. Of course I'm bummed but I'm listening to my husband in a very forceful voice say things like "Robert, that part has to ship or its going to cost your division 25 million dollars. Move production B to time slot A. It's really your only hope and I wouldn't waste time on the phone with me." I am more turned on than I would be if I were staring at his color changing eyes. Yummmmm. 

So I need something to do while we wait to board (and probably the on the plane too since I'm sure Bubs will keep working). I had promised that my next few posts were going to be about the 3 times I found myself on the wrong end of law enforcement. Of course that was before I spent an entire day yelling at my husband about the girl I would eventually set up with my brother, all of which needed to be talked about (when I see my actions in writing, I can't imagine why he hasn't put me in a burlap sack and thrown me in the river, I annoy even myself). 

Second time I was arrested happened in our college town. As a caveat, I need to be a little careful with this one because I still have a criminal record and I don't want to get sued. At the same time, this is my story and I feel like I have a right to tell it, but probably being cautious is a good thing.  In college, one of my first serving jobs was a chain restaurant that nearly everyone is familiar with (this was not Hooters, Hooters was a great job). I made good money but the manager, "Bob" was one of the biggest pieces of shit I've ever met. He ran the place like a little kingdom and only thinly veiled the fact that if you were willing to sleep with him, he'd make sure you'd better shifts, better opportunities, etc... Because of this, there was constant back biting and squabbling both to get into his good graces for the willing, and for the rest of us, pick up the scraps that were left over.  I needed a job but I made it a point to avoid him at all costs because he was a truly disgusting human being. He's not the person I got into a fight with but he certainly was responsible for it getting so out of hand that it led to a physical confrontation, several confrontations actually. 

I got a very rare Friday night shift but it was dead and I only did like 7 or 8 tables. There had been a group of mid-20 something guys from the oil fields drinking in my section. They had gotten progressively more rude and obnoxious as the night went on. I had tried to cut them off and close out their ticket but I noticed Bob himself serving them a round of drinks. I went up to him and I told him I'd already closed out their bill and I had told them no more drinks. Bob said something like "Danielle, they've spent close to $300, we don't cut off customers like that." I told him then I'm not comfortable serving them anymore and they were the last people in that section. He said if I didn't keep serving them I didn't need to bother showing up for anymore shifts and I could clock out right now.  I told him I would I would do my best but I was really uncomfortable. It was literally the next time I walked up to their table and I could see them sort of huddled up and giggling as if they were planning something. As I stood there asking if I could get them something else one reached and grabbed my breast and said "my friend said you had nice tits, I didn't believe him, he was right honey." I pulled his hand away and told him to never fucking ever touch me like that again. Then his friend on the other side of the table grabbed my other breast and I just instinctively hauled back and slapped him as hard as I could. It actually made a sound across the restaurant. He let out an eruption of curse words calling me a cunt and bitch and a tease who'd been flirting with him all night. Bob came over and asked what happened, the guys lied and said that I slapped him for making a little joke. As calmly as I could, I told Bob, no I slapped him because two of them had grabbed me. All Bob heard was the admission that I slapped the guy. He couldn't have given two shits that the obnoxious assholes who he'd continued to serve grabbed one of his employees. Bob told the guys how sorry he was and their drinks and meal were on the house and told me to pack up my stuff, I was being cut for the night. I told him I was fine with that but in the morning I was calling the regional manager and explain to him what happened. Bob said he would never put up with threats from a server who wouldn't "play ball" (an obvious reference to the fact I wouldn't even entertain the thought of sleeping with him). and I was fired. I told him that I was still calling the regional manager he told me to get out of the store and I wasn't welcome back for any reason (as a I total aside, I called the regional manager, I made a written complaint on the company website, I sent emails to everyone I could think of and never heard a single peep back. Looking back, I probably should have sued them but I had no idea how to even proceed with that when I was that young and other things eventually took up my time and attention, more on that in a bit).

I walked out and realized I didn't drive. A friend had dropped me off and Bubs was going to pick me on his way back into town from bow hunting. But because I had been let go early he was still out of town. I tried to go back in to get a ride and Bob promptly reminded me I'd been fired and wasn't welcome. I tried to explain the situation about the ride and he said it wasn't his problem and if I didn't leave he'd call the cops on me for trespassing.  I went and sat outside calling everyone I could think of to get a ride. I even tried downloading the uber app but it had just started in our town and it said no drivers were available. Then I saw the three guys were standing around their trucks, towards the back of the parking lot. That really scared me and I went back in and told Bob they were out there, can I please just stay inside until they were gone or I get a ride. He said I wouldn't have anything to worry about if I'd hadn't had a "temper tantrum" and slapped his customers and told me to leave. 

I finally got a hold of Bubs and just started bawling and explained to him what happened and where I was. About that same time, the guys noticed me across the parking lot and started saying things like "we'll give you a ride honey!",  "come with us, we've already had foreplay!" and "she's crying guys! we made our new girlfriend cry!" Bubs told me to stay on the phone with him but if they came towards me to hang up and dial 911. I sat on the curb trying to keep my composure while Bubs and his friend tried to make me laugh to take my mind off of the situation. I remember the thing I liked the most was him telling me "we're 20 minutes away" then "were 10 minutes away" and finally "we're pulling in the parking lot now Dani." 

Bubs being a hunter has never been my favorite thing because he always comes back in filthy camouflaged clothes, covered in muck with random parts of what used to be cute little Bambi stuffed in coolers. But if you've ever been groped by three creepy oil rig guys, your boyfriend showing up armed to the teeth with bows and arrows while looking like he'd just crawled through hell and back is just who you want to see. As soon as the guy's saw Bubs truck they loaded up and left. Bubs friend wanted to follow them and beat the crap out of them and as much as I would have actually loved that, Bubs rational side always takes over and he said that if we did anything we needed to call the cops. I said no, that at this point it would be their word, plus Bob, against mine. I was very relieved to be in his truck, I was very relieved to be going home and I was actually so relieved I'd been fired because I would never have to go back and deal with that shit job again. 

A couple of weeks later I was out with some friends hopping between bars. It was very busy out with a pretty decent police presence just to sort of keep the crowd in check. A group of guys were coming towards us and I recognized two of them from the incident at the restaurant. I just tried to keep my head a little bit down and thought I was in the clear when the passed us. No such luck, my friend looked back and said that they were turning around. They got up right behind me and  one of them whispered "we never got to finish what we started." I didn't even hesitate and I turned around and with every ounce of power that I had, I punched him right in the chin. I will never forget his eyes rolling back in his head and he went down like a sack of bricks. To an outside observer and the cops, it looked like I had just knocked out a random guy who had just been part of the crowd. The guy's friends starting freaking out and they called over the cops who called over the paramedics. Apparently, he had landed right on the back of his head on the sidewalk and had a pretty severe concussion. 

A female cop grabbed me and threw me to the ground and put me in handcuffs and read me my rights. They picked me up off the ground and took me over to their car and reminded me that I had been read my rights and asked if I wanted to tell my side of the story. I was fully ready to tell them everything but thank god one the friends I'd been walking with had a dad who was a lawyer. She told me that this was potentially really serious and I better not saying anything until I talked to a lawyer. The female cop was really trying to get me to talk but I just kept saying I wouldn't say anything until I talked to my own lawyer. It ended up being a male cop who drove me away and as he was getting me out of the car at the detention center he told me "Don't say anything but we know those guys. You did good" which made me feel a little bit better. 

This time I was fully processed and put in the holding cell, which thank god, was just me and some very sleepy drunk women who didn't pay much attention to me. The worst part about it was the adrenaline had really worn off and my hand started to hurt like crazy. I was able to get in touch with my parents and they drove down overnight to post my bail in the morning. I left with two charges of misdemeanor assault and battery that had I been convicted, I was actually looking at year in jail and a fine of $5000 if I remember correctly. 

As much detail as I remember about the punch and the events leading up to it, the whole process of getting charged, meeting the DA and judge and being in a courtroom are all such a blur. I remember meeting with a criminal defense attorney the next day but having to wait a few weeks before he had enough information to come up with a defense. I remember it seemed like the whole process stretched out forever. I also remember being very worried that the guy was going to file civil charges against me because as far as I knew, he had been hurt pretty badly. I know after it all shook out that I accepted a plea deal for a much lesser version of assault and battery and was given 6 months probation. I was also given a fine but that would be suspended as long as I met the conditions of the probation.  I never heard from the guy again but I've since talked to lawyer friends and they said if he planned on suing me at all, he probably met with an attorney and was told that in a civil trial everything he would have to explain all of his actions, from the restaurant to the street. A civil jury would almost certainly see why I felt threatened enough to hit him. Again that's all speculation and sometimes I worry that a court summons is going to show up in my mail box.  

The biggest problem with this one is that it comes up every time I have applied for any sort of teaching job. So I always have to explain that when why I knocked a guy out cold, that according to the official record, was mostly unprovoked. Most of the time everyone thinks it's pretty cool, but occasionally I can see that the interviewer thinks I have no business in the classroom. For some reason it always comes up when Bubs does his security clearance investigations and we aren't sure why that is because he really wasn't involved. Our best guess is because we had the same address or something, not sure. 

So yeah, that's arrest number 2 of 3. And luckily the only one that shows up on any sort of record. 

Thank you for reading everyone, this made the airport and flights go so much faster. About an hour or so until we land! Bubs appears to be done with his work so I'm going to cuddle up to him and stare into his eyes like a crazy person whos madly in love with her husband that and in love with the fact that we get to spend an entire week together! 

 Oh before I forget, I know messaging on here sucks. I try to respond to as many of you as I can, it's just so hard to keep the conversation going. When I created this blog I had to create a gmail address. I don't want to lose track of everyone again so if you feel like you'd like to email me its: danniynnad@gmail.com 

I can't promise I'll respond to everything but that is a way to get in touch with me out side of the comments here. I also created a reddit account using this gmail account but it looks to me like it's already shadow banned (but not suspended outright) so I'll keep playing with that and if it works I'll let you know what that username is too!