Being the bait so my husband could meet his new life partner

 Today is Monday--day 3 of our first actual vacation without kids. We've had such a nice time and the kids are as having a blast and they even got to stay with Uncle Brian at his cool apartment in the city so they were super excited. So all is good.

 Except my husband may have fallen in love with another. 

Yesterday, we decided to drive up and spend a couple of hours on the beach in front of the Hotel del Coronado. If you aren't familiar, please google this place. It's absolutely gorgeous. We both started to get hungry so Bubs decided that he would walk up to the hotel and see if there was a place to get food. He's been trying to walk on the sand without his boot because he thinks if he goes slow it will mimic the strengthening exercises the doctor wanted him to do. I was like ok dude, but please take the boot as back up and phone so I could come help if needed but I knew it was going to take a while. 

So I don't think this is a big secret but I generally am not attracted to men. Like I will definitely notice if a guy is handsome, cute or if he has a nice build but I never am personally attracted to them. I know this isn't revolutionary because I'm a married woman but my sisters and friends have told me that they've be attracted to other guys from afar. It's not an exaggeration to say that has never happened to me.  So it was a little strange yesterday when I was on the beach by myself and I saw a guy that was, for lack of a better term really, really hot. If I were not married, he would be the type I would want to approach me. He was running barefoot and I noticed that he had made several laps up and down the beach. On his next lap he ran a bit closer to me and I sort of instinctively smiled at him and he smiled back. On his next lap he stopped and introduced himself. He was very polite, super confident but seemed very genuine. I told him my name was Dani and my husband was up getting us food. He sat down and said "Dani, I don't see a wedding ring, are you trying to get rid of me?" After a momentary panic (because I never take it off), I told him I'd left in our condo so it didn't fall off in the water.  He was very flirty and said he still didn't believe me because I didn't have a tan line on my finger (this reads so much weirder than it was, the guy was pretty smooth). I told him I think I'm old enough to be his aunt and I'm flattered but I really am married. Some how he told me he was a "seal." I was like what in the holy hell are you talking about but after some back and forth I learned that Coronado is a huge training area for the Navy he was actually a Navy Seal--like a special forces guy. I told him that was nice, my husband is in the Air Force. He made a joke about Air Force guys being the "chair force" and I was like well my husband is a pilot and his job scares me to death so chair force doesn't apply to him.

So Bubs never gets jealous and out of the corner of my eye I could see him coming back (with no food!!!) with a huge smile because he knew he had days, if not weeks, of material to tease me with. I told the guy this very handsome man limping up to us was the husband in question. The guy stood up as Bubs walked up and was super apologetic and said he meant no disrespect and even called my husband "sir" a few times. They started talking and it turned out that they had been deployed to roughly the same part of the middle east at about the same time last year. 

I think I've made it pretty clear that Bubs isn't the most social of people so at first I was really excited that he seemed to have made a friend but they talked, and talked...and talked and talked. At first I tried to get Bubs attention by digging a boob hole then laying on my stomach with my skimpy bottoms showing pretty much all of butt. Apparently dropping parachutists out of a plane was more interesting. Then I told him I thought he was getting us food and he sort of waved me off and said "yeah, its better if we go eat there, one minute." Then I thought I'd cuddle up to him as he was talking and he whined that was rubbing sand all over him while he was learning about good places to go surfing in San Diego. Finally I was like "dude, I'm past hangry, we need to eat now." 

Bubs asked the guy if he wanted to come eat with us!! I love him but he's the freaking densest man ever so I told him that he could call his boyfriend later, we're on a date and he needed to take me to eat. They exchanged contact info because this guy wants to take Bubs surfing when we come back next time. I asked him if "surfing" is a euphemism for hot man love since they'd hit it off so well. The guy said something like "your wife is really funny man, please stay in touch when you move, not a lot of my friends surf" and we went our separate ways. 

This was essentially the dialogue of our entire meal, eating at one of the nicest hotels on the West Coast: 

Bubs: you got hit on. 

Me: you fell in love with a hot younger guy. 

Bubs: Navy Seals think my wife is cute

Me: My husband thinks Navy Seals are cute 

Bubs: guys like your bare butt so much, they come up and talk to you

Me: that guy used my bare butt in hopes of seeing your bare butt

Bubs: shut up Danielle, you started this 

Me: I'll shut up if you admit you're in love 

Bubs: Yeah, with you

Me: ha, it's been years since you looked at me that longingly

And on and on until we finished lunch and headed back to our condo to get cleaned up and figure out what the plan for the rest of the day was going to be ( we wen to an amazing sea food restaurant downtown where once again I ate so much that it looked like I was about to burst and got another amazing tummy rub after we got home).

I'm not sure how this is going to read but I love it when we are playful like that even if other people may not understand it. I also love it that Bubs thought he was going to be able to hold it over my head for years that I got hit on during our anniversary trip...when it turns out he's the one who met potential lover. Bubs, if some spark has been lit inside you and you need to run off with the sexy young sailor, I won't stand in the way.