My life after the 15 minutes…

Hi everyone, As you’ve probably noticed, I’ve been almost completely absent from my online spaces these past couple of weeks. The truth is, I’m exhausted, and keeping up with the blog has had to take a back seat—there’s just been too much going on. On September 16th, my dad had a second heart attack. It happened to coincide with my older sister Jenn’s mother-in-law beginning chemotherapy in Dallas, so my mom and younger sister Jess were wrangling all the nieces and nephews when my dad basically dropped to the floor in the middle of telling my mom about his day. My mom is the calmest woman I’ve ever known—especially compared to the three emotional banshees she gave birth to—so when I heard genuine fear in her voice on the phone from the hospital, I knew I needed to be on a plane the next day. Ashley and I have been in Texas ever since. Thankfully, my older kids are on a three-week fall break, so they’ve been here with me since last week. If all goes well, we’ll plan on heading home O...

 So the last couple weeks have just been a little “off” for me. I’ve learned in the past year that these dips have a clinical name, and maybe that’s what’s been happening. Or maybe it’s Ashley, who despite being five months old today, apparently only slept through the night when she was tucked in by my mom or older sister back in Texas. Now, in Arizona, she stares at me in the early mornings with these big eyes that say, “I miss Grandma and Aunt Jenn.” Me too, kid. Me too. Sleep has been scarce. It could also be hormones. I’ve been lucky to avoid true postpartum depression, but I know from experience that my body doesn’t feel back to normal for about a year after having a baby. And honestly, my “baseline normal” is already a little chaotic. Then there’s my dad’s heart attack, thankfully “light” as those go, but still a gut-punch of reality. Bubs noticed I was a little off, so he asked if I wanted a night with just him; dinner, a movie, walking around like two adults. We made pla...

Hi everyone… I know it’s been a crazy long time since I’ve checked in. I’m trying to stay positive about a fairly negative reason for being gone. One thing therapy has drilled into me over the past year is that everything that happens to us comes with unintended consequences—some good, some bad. The past few weeks have been a clear example of that. The event that lit the fire under all the recent drama was my dad’s heart. I never want to leave people in suspense: he’s fine, he will be fine. For a man in his mid-60s, he’s in amazing shape—super active, super involved with his grandkids and his community. But at his age, reality sneaks in sometimes. I’ve mentioned before that he started having “wake-up calls” with his heart right around the time Bubs and I were trying to recover last year. I think I even said something vague about feeling guilty because my sisters were driving him to Houston while I was too wrapped up in my own stuff to go. Well, things boiled over in mid-to-late August,...